Stop Apologizing for Your Success

Earlier this week, I listened to an interview with Ilona Maher. While discussing her Olympic journey, she mentioned a question reporters frequently asked her: “How do you manage your imposter syndrome?” She was baffled that she was expected to feel undeserving of her own accomplishments. She talked about the years of training, the discipline around nutrition, the mental preparation, and the relentless work that led her to become an Olympic athlete. She also pointed out that male athletes are rarely asked how they manage imposter syndrome—because it’s simply assumed that men deserve their success.

This conversation came just a week and a half after I spoke with a friend of a friend who had recently started her own business. She was celebrating how far she’d come in her career, yet worrying that people, especially men, might think poorly of her for celebrating. She cried as I encouraged her to be proud of herself, and I found myself angry that she felt she shouldn’t take pride in everything she had achieved.

That struck a nerve with me, and it should with you, too. Why are you expected to question whether you actually deserve the accomplishments you’ve earned? Why do you allow yourself to feel “less than,” or feel like you need to apologize for the space you rightfully occupy?

So let’s challenge those beliefs.

Did you somehow take easier classes or receive gentler grading than your peers in college? If we’re talking about the same degree—absolutely not. What about physical accomplishments, like Ilona’s? Did you train less and magically produce results? What about personal achievements? Did you pretend to work hard when learning a new language or skill, and somehow still become proficient? If we look honestly at the evidence, it becomes pretty clear that these automatic doubts are simply wrong.

I also want to emphasize how much our internal narrative shapes the way we treat ourselves—and how we allow others to treat us. If you’re constantly saying, even jokingly, that you don’t deserve your accomplishments, you’ll start to live that out. You’ll hesitate to apply for promotions. You’ll downplay your achievements. You’ll hold yourself back from pursuing new opportunities because you’re stuck inside your own self-doubt.

You deserve to be your fullest self, without the weight of that doubt. You deserve to accomplish things beyond your imagination. Please don’t dim your own light.