Happy Almost Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake day to those who celebrate. I make no secret of the fact Zelda is my favorite video game franchise of all time (or the fact that I love video games period). Ask me on any given day what my favorite game is, and the answer is usually Ocarina of Time, but depending on the day, 2nd place might be Skyward Sword, or Majora’s Mask, or Echo’s of Wisdom, or Breath of the Wild. I could go on.
“Why are you telling us this, Melodie?” you might be asking. “Aren’t you an adult?” “Don’t you own your own business?” “Don’t you have a mortgage, and a life, and responsibilities?” And yes, obviously. I am an adult with responsibilities, but does that mean I can’t have fun? I used to think so.
When did we decide that ‘growing up’ means that we can no longer have fun? Why does ‘An Adult’ mean that one can no longer be excited about fun?
Video games, especially in this culture, are either thought of as a child activity, or worse, what those man children who still live in their mom’s basement do. To be a woman who loves video games is automatically thought of as “other” like I’m “trying to get attention” or a “fake gamer girl”. Apparently, it couldn't possibly be that I love video games because I grew up in a family who got the original NES system as soon as possible and played video games with her dad and siblings.
I remember visiting my dad at his office in downtown Chicago and he’d be playing Sopwith Camel on his DOS computer, drinking a Mountain Dew waiting for me and my siblings to arrive so we could all go get pizza. I think he played more Mario than us kids did once we had the NES.
It was a group decision to trade in the NES for the Nintendo 64 when it was released. My siblings and I would take turns playing Mario 64 and Zelda- conveniently, there were 3 save files for us 3 older kids to each have our own file. I remember handing off the controller to my brother when it was his turn, and him convincing my sister and me to give him our playtime “because it’s just like a movie watching me play”.
As I got into high school and college, I definitely felt the pressure to do other things. It wasn’t cool to play video games; the popular girls didn't do it. I was desperately trying to find a way to fit in, and and wanted to be viewed as positively as they were, so I traded in my controllers for books and perfume. I still played games, though, just on the downlow. I was still active on Neopets.com (even more of a childlike hobby than Zelda in retrospect) and I still played whatever Zelda game I could get my hands on.
So what changed? I met my people. I have known some of my best friends since around 2007. They’re a group of people who love board games and video games. We’ve played games together every Thursday night for as long as I can remember. Lately, it’s been Valheim, but we’ve taken a run (or multiple runs, let’s be honest) through pretty much any multiplayer survival crafting game we could get our hands on. We started with Minecraft, and it devolved from there. We take short bursts of playing other games, like our continual bid to “just beat Greg” in any mini-golf simulator, as well as real-life trips to things like Top Golf.
I also tell my spouse regularly that I’m glad he doesn’t like sports, so I don’t have to pretend to like them. He’s a gamer also, so we get to play together and nerd out, and he’s accompanying me to the midnight release of OoT a) because he likes Zelda too and b) he likes that I like Zelda.
I feel a lot of imposter syndrome in my day-to-day life, and I think a lot of people relate to this. We have our neat little boxes that dictate what we present to the world. We are this, so we must be this, and we absolutely can’t be this. I’m a girl; therefore, I must not like video games, or if I do, it must be hidden or secretive. I’m tired of that. And maybe part of getting older is realizing that I don't have to keep participating in those expectations.
So this Thursday, I took the day off. Fridays are already my work-from-home day to catch up on paperwork and yell at insurance companies, and I plan to be caught up before I leave the office on Wednesday. I plan to spend several glorious, uninterrupted days re-experiencing my childhood love in a new format with new graphics, and seeing what changed and what didn’t.
“Must be nice” is what I can already hear people saying. And yes. It is nice. And you’re allowed to do it too. I’m not in charge of your life, your schedule, or your budget, but what if you allowed yourself to do the things you loved unapologetically?
What if the rules are stupid? What if you're allowed to like things simply because you like them? What if you can spend your time doing something you actually want to do instead of constantly performing what you think being an adult is supposed to look like?
You don't have to earn your enjoyment. You don't have to make it productive. And you certainly don't have to convince anyone else that it's a worthwhile use of your time.
Sometimes you can just be a grown woman taking a few days off to play Zelda.
